I Miss My Dad
First to Donna, my sister and my friend. I'm so glad that I held you the
day before you died and said that I love you. I don't know what made me do
that. Perhaps it was God's voice that whispered in my ear. Perhap's it was
God's voice that told me to mentally photograph you while you were standing
by the dining room table, or remember what you looked like kissing dad
good-by for the last time. Perhap's it was God's voice that told me to hold
both of your hands before you left dad's house and grab ahold of your soul
for a final embrace. I know that your heart broke when ma died. You
couldn't bear the thought of dad dying too. I miss you so much, but I know
that you are where you want to be. I felt your joy, I was so happy for you.
I forget about how we had to pull the plug. I forget about how I watched
you turn grey. I just remember your kind, gentle, giving spirit. May you
always walk with God and share in his mercy. I will see you again, my
sister and my friend.
Second to my mom. Words cannot express has painful it was to see you leave.
I remember falling down on my knees, all alone in my apartment. I hit my
fists to the ground and kept saying "why ma why?" and "why god why?". The
last thing I expected was for you to die. I was always fearful of it. I
know you tried to prepare us for it, but it still was the most painful
experience in my life. I remember that I saw you, you were telling me how
happy you were that I found someone that treated me so well. I remember
looking into your eyes and seeing myself. I remember seeing your soul. I
remember the last hug that I gave you. I remember walking down the stairs
being told to go back and give you one more hug. Oh, how I wished that I
did. I spoke with you on the phone a couple of times after that. The day
you died, I went to see Mark at work. While I was waiting for him I could
of sworn that I heard your voice. Nobody knows how much it hurt to see you
go. I wish you could see the house that we bought it August. All of my
dreams have come true. I am not bitter. I am greatful that I had you in
my life for so long. That you were there to give me love when no one else
would. I was your baby. Like you said, I'll always be your baby. I will
never forget you ma. Don't forget what I said, you have to wait for me. I
want you to be standing there when I get there and say "my baby's home",
just like you did when I was 19. I love you ma. I always will. When I
look into my eyes, I see you. Thank you for your love and for being there
for me all of my life. I thank God for you.
Finally, to my dad. You went away last February 27th. It hurt so much to
see the man that was so strong and independent, so thin, frail and hurting.
I know you weren't the same after ma died. Your love for her was what was
keeping you going. After she died, you died too. Especially seeing Donna
die in front of you too. But I know that you are where you wanted to be
know. The ulogy was beautiful for you. The minister said that you loved
your Jesus. Now I know that is where you are. I'm so glad that I had the
opportunity to say good-by to you. That's something I didn't have with ma
or Donna. I'm sorry that you had to deal with cancer, but I praise the Lord
that he answered our prayers and took you before it was too painful. Your
house is still standing there. Alone and abdandoned. It looks so lifeless.
Remember when you where still living there, you could almost feel ma and
Donna? Well, since you left, I can't feel anybody anymore. You must all be
together praising God all of the time. That's fine, but you're gonna have
to take a break to let me be a part of it someday. Until then, I have been
blessed with so much. It's true what they say, when God shuts a door, he
opens a window. He has done that for me. Until I see you again, may the
light of the Lords love shine on your eternally.
Love, your daughter
<
more messages to read >> <<
send a message >> <<
more from the site owner >> <<
back home >>