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I Miss My Dad

Dear Mommy,

I miss you. I miss you. I thought I was over the hump, but I feel worse than the day you died. I wish you didn't have to go. I know you didn't really want to go either. It was eating me alive seeing you suffer like that, though. I'm sure glad you don't have to go through that anymore, but I wish I could have you around still anyway.

I wish we could have talked more and had more together in a "outward way," but I think we always understood each other. I felt from your body language, and the look in your eyes, and what you didn't say as much as what you said that you understood me. And I think I understand you a lot. It was you and me against the rest. Now I have freinds and my own family, but I'll never again have one who knew me inside so well. I needed you. I don't know what to do without you.

Won't you come back to me, in a vision or dream or something? I still need you. I'm sure you're with the Lord but I need to hear it and see it. I need to know you're well. I need to know you remember me and pray for me.

You were a good mother. You tried so hard. It was so hard for you; you were handicapped but no one knew it until almost the end. You knew something was wrong somehow, but you couldn't put your finger on it. And half the time, people blamed you. And all the while, you were busting yourself day in and day out to keep it together and take care of your family.

Its been almost six months. It might as well have been this morning.

I love you. I always will. - Mark

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