Dad, words cannot express the way that I feel now that you are no longer alive. I love you more than I ever told you. I wish we'd got our relationship back on track again, at least we were both willing. You must know how much I love you. I wish that I could only see you one more time. You are forever in my dreams, my thoughts, my mind. Take care of yourself, and of mum here on earth if you can. I love you dad. I'll always be yours.

I Miss My Dad

Dad, You was taken to the E.R, Just one month ago, tonight. You had been sick all week, and we begged you to get medical help. You insisted that you would get better. After that evening in E.R, you was admitted to the hospital, due to you could not produce any oxygen and you was having complications due to diabetes. Your sugar was almost 500. They say, you probably didnt even know you was denying any medical help. Due to when you sugar is that high, you are some what dilirious. Yet they stabilzed you and we all thought you was going to be ok. The next day, at the hospital, you was in great humor. The whole family was in and out to see you. You was joking and being your silly self. Yet you was in alot of pain and very scared of the hospital. I spent the whole day and evening with you. You gave alot of hints, yet we didnt want to see anything you was tring to say. YOU KNEW YOU WAS DIEING, YET DID NOT WANT US TO KNOW!!! You always protected your family. Little did we know you also had intense heart disease, and never told us. I hugged and kissed you good night and told you I would see you in the morning. That morning you had complications, and became starved for oxygen. They worked on you and started treating you for a blood clot. Yet it was to late they rushed you to I.C.U, there they asked you if you wanted them to call your family and you shook your head no! I know you knew it was time Dad, and I know you was trying to protect us. I got a call that morning at 11.30am and was told to come to the hospital, that you had taken a turn for the worse. I began to cry and I knew I had a 15 minute drive. I drove as fast as I could. You was gone, gone before I ever got the call. Time I got to the hospital, mom and Rhonda and Kristi was there. I was not prepared to see everyone. Yet they all where crying and knew. My mind went blank, my lungs closed, my body went numb and I knew that if I asked that you was gone, it would be the worse thing I have ever faced. The cry's told me. I feel the world should stop. It is still going, yet I feel i'm replaying that weekend over and over. I miss you so much. Im trying to be strong for mom! i just wish I could of seen you that next morning. Yet I know, that i told you the night before my good bye's, it still dont seem to be enough. I miss you so bad, Dad, you was my friend, you was the strong one of the family. Everyone knew you was so big and strong. We never thought someone so big and strong could just disapear as fast as you did. I have good and bad days. I love you, I ache for you, I need your advise. I need my Dad, oh so much. I know you are not in pain anymore, but I sure wish i had you back. I cant believe a blood clot took your life. We love and miss you Dad. Your Middle daughter, that you always told her how proud you was of her, and I loved to here you say that, Cathy!

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