i miss my dad, grieve, greive, bereave, loss, bereavment, breavement, greiving, grieving, death, i, miss, my, dad, sad, passed, passed away, away, died, i miss my dad grieve greive bereave loss bereavment breavement greiving grieving death sad passed away died loss healing

I Miss My Dad

I to have lost a very special Dad to cancer. This is my story. My dad died July 2000. He just turned 70. In April 2000 he took me and my to oldest kids to Las Vegas, I debated about the trip before I went. I was going without my husband and 2 year old. So I put a lot of thought into it and decided to go. We had a great time! The end of may he developed a pneumonia, and went into the hospital, they did a Cat scan and did a biopsy of his lung and he had cancer. He came home and on June 15th {the day of my 9year old dance recital} He was back in the ER with trouble breathing. We had thought they would be able to operate, that's what were told. He ended up getting very sick and very weak. On July 3rd he received his first dose of chemo at this point dad really wanted to live. He was given the Chemo and sent home. On July 4th not even 24hrs later, I was at work in the ICU i got a call from my Mom that my dad had collapsed and they had called for an ambulance. I ran down to the ER, dad seemed OK, just tired, so I went back upstairs to try to finish working, my shift was almost over, then I got a call From dads doctor who told me my dad was being admitted to the unit and It would be best for me to leave and be with my family. At that point I totally lost it, as I turned around the corner my Mom was crying and said dad was very bad, his lungs were showing a complete white out, and he may not make it. Well he made it that night seemed so much better in the ICU after a couple days he was transferred out to the floor, in the next couple of days i watched my father get weaker and weaker, no one was doing anything for him, he was dying right in front of us..........On July 16th we finally had him transferred to a Boston hospital were after the hospital worked him up, they said there was nothing anyone could do for dad. I saw my dad everyday except for the day he died. when The morphine drip was started, I knew from working at the hospital that the end would be close, The last time I saw my dad I told him I loved him and he told me He loved me. The morning My brother called me and said he would pick me up so I could say good-bye, I just couldn't do it, I didn't want have that thought in my mind forever. Just as my brother walked in dad was struggling to breath, I think he waited for my brother, he then told my mother were his bank book was, and he hid something in the kitchen she will never find and he was tired, then he passed away. I still don't know if I did the right thing not going to say good-bye, but at the time I was falling apart and didn't want to have that memory. It was 8 weeks from the time he found out he had cancer and from the time he died. I miss him every single day. The worst thing was having to tell my then 13 and 10 year old they lost there Papa. He lives on in our hearts and will never be forgotten. And some how as I sit here with tears in my eyes I feel good sharing and reading other stories and messages about everyones dad, And the other day when my dryer started squeaking I wanted to call him and ask him to fix it..............dad could fix everything, I just hope he can help me fix my broken heart....................Ilove you Papa Cliff

< more messages to read >> << send a message >> << more from the site owner >> << back home >>