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I Miss My Dad

Daddy--why, oh why didn't you go to the doctor on Thursday when you felt your hands tingling??? Why did you stop taking your heart medicine? I'm so angry at you for that!! Did you give up? Why did you insist on working in the garden that day? Why didn't you stop when the neighbor Annie told you to go in the house??? I MISS YOU SOOOOOO. I can't stop crying. I call the house and just hear the phone ringing. Why won't you answer it Daddy? You can't be gone, you can't!!!!!!!!!! We should've had many more years together. Max has your character and quiet strength. He will have to be Big Max now. When will the pain go away? I can't function, can't think, can't do anything. I keep replaying the image I have of you falling in the garden, hitting your head--when I heard there were claw marks in the dirt where you fell it just killed me!!! Did you suffer? Did you see awhite light and go to it? Did you see your parents? I need to see/hear/feel you one more time, Daddy. My heart is broken, so so so broken. You were my first love; I've always measured boyfriends against you--none ever came near to measuring up. We will take good care of Mom, but know she is going to be lost without you, too. Bob said to remember that a baby was born the day you died, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Come back, Daddy, come back--I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Sammy

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