I Miss My Dad
Dad,
Wow…just seeing your name at the top of this email is hard. It's been almost a year since I received an email from you and, oh, how I just wish I'd see an email come through with your name in the "from" box. Then I'd know that not only could I communicate with you, but, I could also get one of your big hugs and a wink…
You didn't deserve what you got. You were such a big, strong man and an illness that takes away your ability to move and care for yourself and others was completely wrong for you to endure. You gave so much love to everyone you knew. You took pride in being a big, strong man who could and wanted to take care of his family. It wasn't fair. You were walking and living with complete ease in February, 2001 and by September, 2001 your complete paralysis claimed your precious life. Why?
I keep replaying, in my mind, our last hug when I had 2 people hold your arms around me. Oh, how I wish that moment could have just lasted forever. At the time, it just didn't feel like that hug was the last hug I would ever receive from you. I, so, miss your hugs. I think I miss those the most. You were so much bigger than me and I felt complete safety in your arms. I desperately long for that feeling again...
I know you don't want me to be sad, but I just can't help it. Thinking of what you went through turns my stomach. Please, dad, don't mistake my bitterness for anger at you. You gave nothing but love and pride to me and for that, I am forever grateful…
Thank you for making me your pride and joy and for passing onto me your amazing characteristics. I am honored to be your daughter and I hope to never let you down. I love you and will forever.
Your sweetie,
Courtney
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