I Miss My Dad
I don't think it has really sunk in yet that you are truly gone from this world, even though Mark and I were right there with you. I look back and it all seems like a dream. I find your poems all over and they make me smile; or sometimes cry. I know that the past three years were a precious gift, and I appreciate that time so much. I guess I am selfish in thinking that it was not enough time. But anytime before me would not be enough time, I guess.
And I know you were there at the viewing and funeral, we all felt your calm and brave nature and got through it in a way that would make you proud. How many friends and admirers you have . . . and how your family loves you. I am so proud to be your daughter.
Mom is hanging in there, and Mark and I are trying our best to help her out, without being too much of a crutch - or too much of a pain. She is being a real trooper, although I wish she had a little help with your filing systems - they're a little tough, dad. We'll get through it, though.
I told Ava how much you loved her, just as I promised, and gave her a little locket to always remind her. But, as she grows up, I will tell her all about you always. Promise.
I know you loved me, and you know I loved you. You were my biggest fan, and loved me more than anyone ever has or ever will. I wish I had done more to make you proud; I just don't have that special something that Mark does. But I do try, and I'll keep on trying.
God knows, I miss you dad. Tell everyone I said hi, and put in a few good words for me. And if you can, steer me in the right direction now and then. In the meantime, I'll light candles for you, and do what I can here to do right by you.
Love you, always,
~N
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