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I Miss My Dad

Dad, It has been just a little over a year since I found you so peaceful lying in your chair. I know now that you knew you were leaving us. (Even though for the past ten years I have been hearing the one of these days speeches from you.) You were preparing me all along.

The way you left clues around the house for Julie and Me to find. The note crumpled under your bed, that was written in 1996, stating to Mom incase of my demise, there will be no flowers, a family only service with a short salvation sermon preached by Rick, if he would do that. Nothing fancy! LOL Good thing we found that the night after we laid you in the ground! We were talking about which clock Bev was supposed to get as Julie, Linda and I already received ours. At this time we found another page to the same letter... It said that Linda got Grandma's kitchen clock, (which you already gave her), and Bev was to get the clock with the staircase on it. Oh and that Bub was to get ALL of your tools! Big surprise for a 12 year old! (You wrote this when he was seven!) We cried and laughed as we found these and more! You got us again and again as you had when you were with us!! This made it easier for Me and Julie, as we went through your things.

The way you tried to see or talk to all of us the week before you passed. Especially me. The night before, You called me it was so cold outside. You wanted me to come over. I was hesitant, but went anyway, I had already been to your house earlier, you weren't home yet. When I was there I didn't think to say I love you, I know you knew, but If I had one more chance, I would have Hugged and kissed you and told you how much I loved you! I thought it was just another Monday night after the auction, come and see what I got you night! Fully expecting to see you the next morning! That night I was goofing off in the car on the way home making up a silly song about how you taught me how to make a buck with my pick up truck...... because times were hard and life was tuff. Just a silly song, I went home and wrote the words down, I thought you would get a kick out of my little tune! LOL Tuesday morning started as normal. Taking the kids to school, and stopping in to check on Mom (she was the one sick you know!) I never imagined finding you the way I did. But I will tell you what, If I wouldn't have been the one to find you, and would have received a call, saying you had passed, I would have lost it. I know I would have! I cry a lot, but in remembering how much you meant to me and all the great times we shared over almost 36 years.

Dad I could never thank you enough for standing by me all my life! I miss our talks and our trips! (The ones we went on no one else!) And I certainly miss my fishing buddy!

Oh Lindsay tells me "pawpaws gone bye bye see Jesus" She is getting so big, as are the rest of my kids. Bub still has a hard time like the other day we went in your garage to get something, I opened the door, and immediately we could smell you! That greasy workshop smell, one I will never forget! Bub looked at me like don't cry Mom, as I know it hit him too.

My 1st. Grandson was born 4 weeks after you left us... He is my little J.D. Nell named him after you!

I LOVE YOU DAD!

Your Daughter; Leta

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