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I Miss My Dad

Daddy You always think there will be time. Time to understand why you never were around. When I was young you would visit me on my birthday and at Christmas. You were the nice man who bought me gifts. Later I began to understand that your were my dad and I respected you and loved you for it. I always thought that when I grew up things would be different. It wasn't until I attended your funeral that I realized our relationship with one another would never be different. It was what it was. We were strangers to one another. You didn't know how to be a father. I wonder if you ever loved me. Were you proud of the woman I had become? I don't want to think that I was your biggest mistake, but what else am I to think. Everyone spoke of what a great man you were and all the great things you had done for them and for others.....I have no memories of you. I wish I did. I wish a lot of things that will never be. All the mistakes made with me can't even be corrected with your grandchildren that I hope to have someday. I have only one picture of us together....you're sitting on a bed holding me in your arms. I couldn't have been but a couple of months old. You're gazing down at me like your the proudest father in the world. Are you looking down at me right now and feeling the saddness that I am? Are you wishing your had done more or said more? I love you, Dad and I'm sorry you can't be here now. I'm sorry that I will never get the chance to know you and tell you how much I wanted you in my life. Your daughter Shannon

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