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I Miss My Dad

march madness

Dad, I cannot believe that you are gone. I tried to write you a letter to bury with you, but I couldn't find the words. Hopefully I will find them now. I haven't cried in 5 days. I can't seem to grasp the concept that you are gone. This is the hardest thing I have ever experienced and I don't understand why it is happening. I feel as if I'm in a dream. All of this is so odd. Dad, there were so many people at the funeral. It was unbelievable. So many people loved and respected you. All the girls from the Crush team came. I haven't turned on a basketball game in a week because I can't stand the thought of not seeing you lying on the otoman in the family room watching with me. It's march madness and I can't make myself watch any games. There are so many things that I wanted to experience with you and I know that you loved us so very much. I'm a daddy's girl and I don't know what I will do without my daddy. I miss your big hands and hugs and kisses. They were so comforting to me. I miss your jokes and silly sense of humor. I hurt so much and want to see, talk, and touch you so badly. It hurts me to see how much pain meredith, megan, mom, and rob are in. Not to mention the rest of the family. We all loved you so much. And mom...oh god she misses you. I know you will always be with us and watching over us, but I feel like a part of me was lost with you. I don't know how I'm going to leave the family and go to school in two months, but I promise I will try as hard as I can because I know that would make you proud. It's going to be a lot harder with you not around, but I'm going to do my best. I know you wanted to be an NYU dad so badly. I had Rob place the hat you bought right next to you so you can wear it. I guess you'll get to see all of my games now. Rob is going to walk megan down the aisle. It is going to be a hard day, but we will try to honor your memory and celebrate with Megan and Brad. I have so much more to say, but I know that you know how I feel about you. You're my hero and you always will be. My heart hurts so badly. But I wouldn't take back one second of the 18 years I loved you. I set up an e-mail account just for you so I can share all of the things going on in our lives with you. Dad, I love you and I can't imagine my life without you, but us kids and mom are going to get through this together...forever remembering what an amazing person you were. You are a part of all of us dad. I will never stop missing you. I love you, Laurnie

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