I Miss My Dad
My father died on April,15th,2002 of liver failure. He
was almost 49 and I was 13. The smallest things make
me think of him. A song will play on the radio that
will remind me of him. A commercial on television I
see that I will remember we used to laugh at together
all the time. I get very upset when I think of him
because we had such a close relationship but then I
think...because we had such a close relationship, I
think of him all the time, and I feel better.I would
like to tell my father thanks for everything he did
for me in the unfair 13 years I had with him:
Dad, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being
there for me when I always needed you, and thanks for
being there when I didn't. No matter where I was or
what I was doing, I could always call you or come to
you for anything. We always had the normal father-son
squabbles but you and I had so much more than that. I
look at other kids my age and wonder why I had to lose
you and they still have their fathers. But I also
think " I'll bet these kids do not have what my father
and I had." You and I were best of friends all my
life. If you were invited somewhere I was going or you
would not go, no matter where you were going.I
remember all the Christmas parties you got invited to.
Even though Mom was not happy with me going, we always
ended up going and having a great time.When the two of
you divorced, it hurt me more than anything. But I
loved the fact that I would be with you on Friday
after school until Sunday after the football games.I
would sit in school on Friday counting the hours...the
minutes until I would be with my dad, doing what we
always do. And it didn't have to be something fun. I
remember the normal Friday night...You and I would go
to CDB pizza with Pat and Sara and their kids and
sometimes Pam would meet us their.Saturday was a
play-it-by-ear day and even if we ended up watching
"Bye-Bye Love" for the 5th week in a row, it did not
matter, because I was with you, and that was fun
enough. Then you moved over to Uncle JH's house. For a
few months our Friday's and Saturdays were spent
shooting a game of pool. Thank you for teaching me how
to play pool like a pro!! I remember when Frankie and
Johnnie's opened. You were their first, and seemingly
only customer. If that place hadn't of closed down
after a year I would still go there because that was a
place that you and I went and had a great time
together. But dad it wasn't only about going places
and having fun. It was all about you and I and the
great relationship we built. I could come and see you
whenever I wanted just to talk to you. There were
things I could tell you that I would never tell anyone
else. I felt that type of bond with you. I would call
you and (if you were in the mood to chat!!) talk for a
long time about the silliest things. And some people
might say...thats just stupid stuff...but you know
what? Nothing you and I had was stupid. No one will
ever understand the things we had or the connection
you and I had. But that is what I love about it.
Because I know that you and I had a rare bond that
fathers have with their kids, and I know it because I
witness things first hand. Fathers and sons fighting
all the time, the mom mediating. But I think even
though the divorce tore my heart out of my body, it
helped. And I know it helped because there was no one
fighting anymore. I had you and I had mom, and that
was great.When I came home from school and found out
the news I was in shock. I could not believe that it
happened. But I had a feeling that weekend with you
that you were not acting right, and something was
going to happen.So in my state of shock, I knew and
something told me that day that things EVENTUALLY
would turn out okay.Dad, I can not believe you are
gone. I only had 13 years with you and something tells
me I was not old enough to really understand things
about death and losing parents.It kills me to know
that this weekend I will not be with you, but I will
think about you 24/7, and remember the good times we
had. I feel so lucky, Dad, that I spent all the time
with you that I did, because if I didn't, I know I
would feel guilty right now. I miss you Dad and I hope
some day a long time from now that we will reunite and
talk about all the fun we had together. But until that
day comes I want to tell you I love you.I loved you
while you were with me and I love you now and I always
will. I miss you very much and you left a space in my
heart that will never EVER be replaced by ANYONE, and
that is my promise to you.
Love Michael
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