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I Miss My Dad

Hi Dad,
I know you can’t hear me but I found this site and just had to talk. It has been an incredibly difficult year. Mom’s hip replacement was so difficult and then while she was still in the hospital you were diagnosed with cancer. I seemed to be the only one in the family that realized you were terminal. Doing the research and hearing the doctor’s diagnoses told me it wouldn’t be long. But, everyone was so hopeful and you most of all. I hated to see you go through the chemo realizing how sick it made you when you had such a short amount of time. But you wanted to live so badly and believed it might keep you alive for just awhile more. You fought right to the end.

I feel so blessed to have witnessed the miracle of your baptism. It was so obvious that Jehovah’s hand was with you giving you just enough strength to go through with it and making the blood clots in your legs disappear just a couple days before. The brothers and sisters that attended were so amazed to hear and see you. It was a day no one will ever forget. We only wish it had been sooner.

Life is not the same and I guess never will be. Mom is not doing so well. She loved you so much. Even though you didn’t give her the life she deserved she mainly talks about how wonderful and special you were as a person. We live together now in a nice home and I do my best to see that she doesn’t have to worry about money or being taken care of if the need arises. But, the spark of life has gone out of her and she doesn’t have much interest in anything anymore. It is a very sad time.

The boys are dealing with missing you in their own ways. Vance won’t talk about it and Craig pretends that you are still here. Even though we were not the “Father Knows Best” family we all miss you and our lives before terribly. Death seems so much closer for all of us now.

Death is truly our enemy. We miss you and ache every day and hope and pray that we will see you in the future in a happy time. I don’t know who will be there, I pray all of us.

I love you Dad, we all did.

Daughter

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