I Miss My Dad
Hi, Dad. You died nine months ago tomorrow. I still can't help feeling that it is all so unfair. You were just driving to pay the rent, and were broadsided. YOu did nothing wrong...I hope that you never saw it coming, and that your last moments on earth were spent thinking of something beautiful. I met the man who hit you, Dad. His name is Charles Lugo. He is 30, just like me. I met him at your trial, and outside the court he said how sorry he was and I really think he was so sorry and he cried for me and mom and the girls, and then I told him I wasn't mad at him, just at the situation, I told him I knew it was just an accident.. and then we hugged each other... I don't know if it was the right thing to do, Dad, please don't be angry at me but I couldn't live hating someone, it is too hard living without you...

When I went to the hospital and the doctor told me you were dead(He did not survive, he said) I felt like I was in a dream. It was all soooooo surreal... I went numb and I ran out of the room, I felt like I was going to die... It was so unreal... I saw your body, Dad... your eyes were open... Did you see me? Mom, Aki and I cried so much... I whispered in your ear, I told you I would never forget you and I would love you forever...could you hear me? I need you now more than ever, now that I am married. I have so many more stories to tell you, and I want to say thank you for supporting me when I lived in Japan and being interested in my life... Please read the letter I put in the casket, Dad. Please read it every, every day. I keep your letter to me in my desk and in my pocket when I am having a hard day.

I will give you another letter when we take your ashes to Balsam Lake.

I love you always, Dad. I can feel you here, feel you with me. We will be okay. I am looking forward to seeing you in heaven. The first words I will say to you are, "Boy, did I miss you." That will be your cue to give me a big hug and not let go until I stop crying.

Forever your son,

Michael
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