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I Miss My Dad

Dear Dad, It is coming up on 1 year since we lost you! It feels like yesterday when I got that dreaded phone call from You and Mom, telling me that You were diagnosed with Liver Cancer. I was told that the doctors said that they were waiting on a test to see if You would be a candidate for a Liver Transplant. You told me that you would keep me up to date with any information you got. I held it together for You and Mom on the phone, but after hanging up, I felt like someone just ripped my heart out. I was beside myself with pain, hurt, anger, disbelief, and numbness. I was going crazy researching everything I could on the internet about your disease. It was me who figured out just how bad your cancer was by all the symptoms You and Mom had told me about. That night my husband found me on the computor, crying, knowing that I needed to see You! Gary immediately took my seat at the computor and booked me a flight asap. That day could't come fast enough. The plane landed and I wasted no time getting my car, flying down the high way to your house. I was shaking inside, not knowing what to say to you. I just held you and did't want to let go!! Wondering what was going on in your mind? Then I hear that it is Primary Liver Cancer, there was nothing anyone could do. I was devastated. Before anyone knew it, Hospice was at the house, giving all the details as to what was wrong and what we had to look forward to. You were great Dad, everyone was there, all your kids, you talked to all of your grandchildren, we took care of you at home with the help of Hospise with meds, a bed,what you could eat, oxygen tank, nurses, nurses aids to help bath you, and You left us in less than 1 month from your diagnosis!! Less than 1 week after I had arrived.You had just turned 63, 2 days before you left us. I have a very large hole in my heart since losing you. A year later and it still hurts like yesterday! You are the foundation of this whole family and always will be. I Love You and Miss You so much, your kind words, gentle voice,teasing, and loving touch. Your loving daughter, Sandy(Bum)

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