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I Miss My Dad

I was sitting in my closet today, melancholy, and I realized it was the last place I spoke with you. I decided to go on the web and put in “my dad died” and look what I found…

It has been 8 months since you died. Whenever someone loses a loved one there is some kind of tragedy. Mine is that I didn’t get to say goodbye or to even see you one last time. It wasn’t you in the funeral home. All I could focus on was your right hand and the scar I recognized on it.

Organized and anal as I am I thought I’d have control over this. I don’t. Every day there is something that reminds me of you. So many things in my home or in your home were touched by you, built by you, given by you. Once in a while they bring a smile but mostly just a stare and a quiet moment. Someday they will only bring smiles I hope, but I just realized today that 20 years in the future I won’t have all the items around me that you touched or made. They will pass with time. It is obvious I need to start collecting mementos.

I have at least reached the point where I know I cannot take you place and be the person you were, but that I have 23 years to get there. I only hope I learned enough in the first 35 to become the man that you were. I think I did. I think I have a lot of you in me. I will concentrate on my family; and work to keep our family together. I know that was the real rule number 42.

I never did well at writing in a journal. Thanks for posting this web site.

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