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I Miss My Dad

It's been almost 12 years since you shifted from here to there. I remember sitting on the porch a day or two before you died, sobbing so hard and wishing desperately for just one more day with you, as you were before the cancer got to your brain. I am pretty sure it was you who let me know that one more day wouldn't have been enough, I'd always be wishing for just one unit more--a day, a week, a month. You were always so clear about "what's done is done. Put your face and your focus onto what is coming next." So I was calm and centered when you left us. I still miss you so much. But I don't want you to worry, it is not all the time, every day like it was at the beginning. Now it is mostly when I wish you could enjoy your grandchildren, or when I wish I could ask your advice. Tonight it was Allison testing for her green belt in Tae Kwon Do. You were always so enthusiastic and supportive about our athletic endeavors--you'd have really gotten a kick out of her focus and precision. I can just hear you say "HEyeah!" when you saw her beaming face when she earned her belt. Also I think you'd like Master Gary--he's just a regular guy who found a passion and followed it, just like you.

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