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I Miss My Dad

Dad ( first time I've said that)

I remember meeting you once when I was 8 and again at 10. I know our time together was short and awkward, and now at 30 I understand. I have a son who is almost 4 and he is the ultimate love that I thought I would never know. Dad, If I were without my son for whatever reason, It would break my heart, and can kind of understand what you were going through. I am still hearing different stories on how you passed, from my Mom and your Dad. I need you now, more than I ever did. It was easy to avoid the whole situation before, but since Eric was born (my son) I am completely lost. I have no clue how to do this, how to be a father, how to be a husband, any of it. I have so many questions that will never be answered, the answers that I got from your Dad, didn't help because It sounds like you were exactly like me. I play guitar, you played guitar, I fish, you fished, I love the outdoors, you loved the outdoors. Dad, I am so tired of these "what if's" and I know you would be proud of your growing family, you left me before you got to know me, and I know, I also, would have made you proud.

To the facilitator of this message board-

I have been lost for many years, not having a person or therapist to talk about the above mentioned issues. Thank you for maintaining this forum. After just a few moments of typing some of my feelings, I feel better. Thank you again

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