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I Miss My Dad

On August 18th, 2003, my father passed away in his sleep after an 8-month long battle with lung cancer. I'm 22 years old, and I can't help the anger I feel and jealousy for my siblings who spent so much more time with him, as they are 10+ years older than me. I can't help being angry that my sister had my father at her wedding, and I won't. There's so many pieces of my life that he'll miss....I've always been a daddy's little girl, and I still find myself thinking of calling him to ask him something, or driving to my parents' house and looking around for him. I haven't come to grips with his death, and I know that, but it's because I don't want to fully realize that he's gone. Thinking he's on a trip is much less painful. So I must say that I can understand and appreciate the thought behind it. I think if my daddy were here in the room with me right now.... Hi Daddy. I miss you very much, every day. I hope you know what a good job you did raising me and that I love you very much. I wish I had said that to you more. I wish there was more I could do for you, and I wish I'd at least gotten a chance to say goodbye....give you one last hug and kiss. I just hope that you're okay and you're not hurting anymore, wherever you are, and that you look in on us every now and then.

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