I Miss My Dad
I lost my dad 2 1/2 years ago I am 28 years old but I feel like a small
girl. My Dad was on vacation and had a tragic jet ski accident, my dad and
my step mom both drown. I was to be married in four months, at their house
before they died. When my dad and I went through my wedding plans all he
said he wanted was to walk me down the isle, to give his "brown eyes" away.
He did not get to. I am married now. We had a huge wedding not because I
wanted to so much for me, but because I wanted the biggest, brightest, most
colorful isle ever to celebrate him. That was a very hard day for me. This
is what I would like to tell my dad.
Dad,
I feel my heart not being able to heal. I am in and out of denial, I suffer
from anxiety, fear of more people suddenly leaving me, but I do not blame
you. I know you did not want to leave. It scares me how long your fight was
in the water, knowing you it was not an easy surrender. I know your thoughts
were with all of us kids. I could feel you that day, 15 mins. before brother
called me I just sat down and started to cry. When brother phoned I had to
tell him I needed a minute before I could hear the news. I already knew in
my heart that it was you. You understand the business burden you have left
us, I wish you would not of ignored the possibility of your death, but I
also understand your reason why. I forgive you for your weakness (you
understand), I know you are in a quiet pure place were you can now forgive
yourself with no more shame. All that I have learned form you has strengthen
me. I know you can see us, and I know you are proud of our family strength
which was taught by you. Every day you are missed, and you know that if I am
not strong enough to feel you some days it is because I am saving my
strength for the next. I wish you could be with me. I WISH YOU COULD BE WITH
ME.I miss being daddy's little girl. I miss being loved the way you loved
me. You always helped me fix everything, and I am having a hard time doing
life with out your guidance. As you know my husband has the love and
strength to pick me up and keep me moving. I am thankful you were able to
know him, He is the right man for me. Thank you for all the beautiful
dreams, were I can see your face and your eyes full with spirit. They are
the best sleep I have ever have. I close my eyes and long to hear your voice
so visit me soon, I need you. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. Your are my angel.
I love you!! Your Brown Eyes.
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