I Miss My Dad
Hey pops,
I am writing here to try to relieve some of the load I
am carrying. I can not even put a finger on when I
actually lost you. Alzheimer's had taken bits and
pieces of you away for years. One thing about you
though, you kept your mild mannered personality nearly
to the end. What a sweet loving person you were, I can
barely live with out you. It has been 7 months, and it
gets worse, not better.
Having to place you in the nursing home was the worst
day of my life. I wish there was a way I could have
taken care of you, but mom just couldn't deal with it.
I remember telling you about the veterans home, and
how you aways said that is where you should go if the
time came. Even in your confused state, you cried,
knowing somehow, that it would be the end, and that
you didn't "know" anyone there.
I visited as much as I could, driving the hour to see
you. Sometimes you would tell me that you knew I was
busy, and that I should go. I used to hope that you
would forget who I was, just to make it easier for me
to leave you. Selfish on my part, but the only way I
could cope. But you never forgot who I was and did
your best to stop crying when I was there. That is
what made it painful to leave you.
Then they l would tell me that you cry all day.
Waiting for us to come. My heart was ripped out every
day. You asked about all your brothers, and often
"saw" them in the home. You never got used to that
place, it was never home to you. You had such a large
family, with many good memories in your childhood. I
wish you had told me more about yourself as a young
man. Now all I have are tons of old photographs to
look at and try to imagine your life before me.
I felt terrible about not being with you when you
died. But I could not bear to see you go. I was up all
night thinking of you being alone. I will never forget
it. There would never be an easy way to see you go. I
miss your sly smile, your great sense of humor, and
your logical answers to any problem. I will always
remember fun times we had fishing, sailing, and
adventuring on the beach.
When I stopped to see you that last day. I wished I
could see your beautiful kind blue eyes. But you were
so bad that you could not even open them. I wish I
could have split myself in two, one to stay with you
and one to go and hide somewhere safe, so I would not
have to let you go. I have carried you ashes and
placed them in the place you love the most. I have not
yet brung myself to disperse them. It just isn't a
good time for me yet. I am terribly alone. The
holidays are not a happy one for me. I can only hope
that you are happy in heaven, and that you have
finally found your brothers and sisters, grandma and
pop pop, and your good friends Bill and Artie, and
that you are off sailing on some great blue sea. I
will be looking for you when my time comes.
Love your only daughter. Carolyn
PS. I still can not tie a good knot.. :-) I need you
to teach me.
Your one and only little girl
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