I Miss My Dad
HI Mama, I know you probably dont understand why after two years I am still a wreck. I can hear you telling me to get over this because you are truly where you always said, "What will I do when I stand before Him?" You were not scared, you had so much love for God and could not wait to see His face. I'm so glad that you are at peace, but selfishness gets to me. My foundation was ripped from me and I feel I dont have anyone to turn to. Not like my mom, my everything. I still tell myself when something exciting happens, "I've got to call mom!" Then I break down. I thought this would get easier, but then again, how. Should I feel better when I it's been five years that I haven't seen you, felt you or heard your voice? Doesnt seem like it will. I am 32 and I am the oldest woman in our tiny family. I've lost everyone..but nothing compares to not having you. The day my mama passed, I had just left the hospital. I was there all the time and came home to be with my kids before they went to bed. I wish I had never gotten the call that you were screaming for me, I could hear you in the background. I didnt get up there in time, I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I left. I know I have more regret than you now. I do hear you and know that you are ok, I just need to figure out how be ok. Please God, help me with that. I need strength for my kids. I hope my kids grow up and look up to me like I do you. I want to be with you, but I never want them to go through this, never. They miss you truly and Ciera is still having a rough time. She's the one who told me about this website, and it does help. I love you mama with everything I have in me and when God see's it's my time, please be at those pearly gates for me. Then we can truly party....Love, Melissa Your one and only little girl
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