i miss my dad, grieve, greive, bereave, loss, bereavment, breavement, greiving, grieving, death, i, miss, my, dad, sad, passed, passed away, away, died, i miss my dad grieve greive bereave loss bereavment breavement greiving grieving death sad passed away died loss healing

I Miss My Dad

Dear Dad, It's been less then eight months since you left this Earth, but it was a long time coming. I rememeber being a little girl and not being allowed to answer the phone or the door because it was probably a dealer wondering where his money was. But you quit the drugs and got out of that scene, but you continued to drink. I know you wanted to care for me and love me the best that you could, so why didn't you stop drinking?! I don't understand. I'm starting to remember the things that you did to me when I was a little girl. You make me sick. And now I am constantly being reminded of what you did to me. Each and every time that I am reminded, I question my existance and whether or not I should still be on this Earth. You hurt me so badly, Dad. And yes, the physical scars are gone, but the scars you have left on my heart are still fresh and so very painful. You hurt Mom, too. Fine, you hurt me, but the fact that you hurt my mother makes me so very angry! She did nothing wrong and I didn't either. I did nothing to deserve the way you trested me. I was a little girl and I was the best daughter that I knew how to be. I'm sorry if I let you down, but you let me down, too. But you know what? I'm sick and tired of being so angry. I deserve to live a happy life full of love and joy. And that's why I'm forgiving you. I'm not forgiving you for your sake, but for mine. I have someone in my life who cares about me and I love him with all of my heart. But right now, my heart has a hole in it. It was left by you. But hopefully forgiving you will fill that hole so I can move on. Forgiving isn't forgetting, it's just letting the pain go. And I am ready for this pain to leave my heart. I will always remember you, Dad, for the good times that we had together. Thank you for sharing your love for sports with me. Grams always says that she sees you in me when I play ball. Though I didn't always like you, I did always love you. And I will always love you, Dad. No matter what. Until next time. Your little girl, KK

< more messages to read >> << send a message >> << more from the site owner >> << back home >>