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I Miss My Dad

Hey dad, even though you're still alive, I know you're going to be leaving me soon. You got weaker in such a short time, I'd remember back in October a few months ago, we went apple picking and you'd be able to walk around strongly, and how you would always make me go grocery shopping with you. Even though I'm only 15, and my sister said that if anything happened to you, we'd all be fine, I don't think I would. We never had the chance to talk and you didn't even teach me anything about being a man yet. I regret not being around you these past few months and even years, I was addicted to gaming and was always on the computer while you were somewhere else around the house. I know now that it's too late to do anything with you now, the doctor told me that your liver is going to start failing in a few weeks, you're going to be confused and start yelling for no reason, I'm afraid of that, afraid that you might yell at me, or mom or anyone else. I regret not being there for you and I'm sorry, I'm sorry that your only son couldn't live up to be like you. You'd tell me your stories of the past and about your suffering as a refugee, it's been told so many times that I would just drown out your voice when you used to tell me your stories, now I regret it, not knowing the story of your life, knowing that I was such a disrespectful son. I'm sorry dad. The doctors also told me that you're most likely to die in your sleep, you said you wanted this but I don't. I'm scared that one dad I'd try to wake you up but you won't respond. I'm a selfish son for not wanting it. Daddy, I'm sorry for being a bad, disrespectful and an embarresing son. I hope to one day become a good person like you. Your son, D.N

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