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I Miss My Dad

You were someone who understood me and loved me unconditionally. I don't know why; you were my stepdad, but here you are in my heart so much closer than a blood relative. Being a bit boyish and into engineering and nerdy stuff I drift away from most of my family who are into films, music, art and suchlike. I don't understand what they talk about. but I understood you - your values, your practicality, scepticism, logic, approach, doctrines, faith. The times in my life when I have had to speak strongly and with conviction I hear your voice and values within me and feel secure in my convictions. I want to know what you think I should do next. And how about one of those big hugs? I want to know if you're at peace and if you need or want anything that I could get for you? Maybe a special cup of tea like we used to make? I wish you could meet my Mark. He's a good hardworking spirit with the same determination you had. He's low in confidence, a bit like me. On his 11th Birthday his dad gave him a puppy then left for good, and he's still recovering so many years later. I wish he could meet you and have his faith in goodness and family restored. I miss you - you should be here with us all now. We need you. I feel stronger for having known you, and hope I can just get by and not let you down it feels so hard sometimes. I guess I just want to say I miss you, today, just as much as the day I left you smiling on the doorstep, saying everything will be okay. One day I think it will be.

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