It's been a little over 9 years since I lost my dad. I was two weeks from being 8. He was killed by a disgruntled teenager who one day decided to get out his 22 rifle and shoot at cars, he was a UPS driver, he was killed on the job while driving down the road, the bullet entered into his temple and my dad was killed instantly. The kid who did it, suffered no time in jail or did any kind of community service for the crime he commited. It was hard on me, very very hard. I didnt think I would ever be able to talk about it, with anyone, like no one would understand me.I mean, I have a sister who went through it to, but I still couldnt talk to her about it. I have always covered up the pain since then, never talked about it to anyone, not my sister, not my mom, not anybody. And now by some weird way, I found this site, It gives me a sence of reassurance that others have gone threw the same thing, and that Im not the only kid who grew up being know as "wierd" or "strange" just because I didnt have a dad around to teach me some father-son things. It feels so good to get this off my chest. And if you dont mind I would like to say a few things to him and share them with you. Dad, there are so many things I would like to talk to you about, and joke with you about, and laugh with you and see you smile again. Ever sence you've gone, my life has been a downward spiral, and I wish you were still here with me. Some times, while driving down the road, I will talk to you, like you are still with me, and I know you are. I know you see me growing in to be a young man, and I try to do good for you. Some times when I play a concert with my band, over all the moshing teenagers, sometimes I will see a shadow in the darkness in the back, and I could swear its you, watching me, with a smile, proud. I wish it was you dad, I know it sounds weird but I'd actually wish you were here to punish me when I do something wrong. I wish I couold just see your face one more time, or give you a hug. I wish I could tell you how much hell I've gone threw without you dad. I still dont see why it had to be you, why did you have to go and leave me all alone in this cruel world. I feel so cold and alone, I want to let things out but I cant, and you've seen what has occured in the past after all that sorrow and emptyness builds up. I miss you dad. I dont want to live the rest of my entire life without a dad. I know that I have gotten over it a little, but knowing that you are never, ever, ever coming back, to cheer me up when Im down, to scold me when I do wrong, or to tease me about girlfreinds or the clothes I wear, Or to tell me the "new dirty joke" you heard at work. I miss you dad, I love you dad, I love you so much, and I will never forget the tight close relashionship we had. Goodbye. Thank you for making this wonderful website, and I hope that people who read this can relaet and respond.

I Miss My Dad

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