I Miss My Dad


Hi Dad,
I passed the test!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank God!

You know, right before the test began, I was sitting quietly in the room waiting to get started when suddenly I saw you sitting at an empty desk smiling at me with that big, knowing grin of yours. Reassuring me. I started to cry a bit (the proctor must have thought I was nuts). After a few tears I became very calm. I knew that you were there to help and that I would pass. I just knew it.

Sorry that I haven't written to you yet. You'd think that I would have already because I set up this website. I was waiting for the right time, I guess. Anyway, I just wanted to say how much I loved, admired, and miss you. After you died, It was my job to go through all your things and papers and sort everything out for Mommy. I think you'd be surprised at how well she is managing, considering that you did everything for her for 36 years. I feel like I know you better now. I saw pictures of you at what looked to be your bachelor party, read all the notes that your friends and bosses wrote to you over the years. You were truly well loved. I appreciate your meticulous record-keeping. I can't believe how you kept one huge ledger sheet with all your expenses on it for each of the last 30 years! Now I know where I get it from, you just can't teach that stuff.

I wish we could have continued our father/son relationship. I feel like we had so much more to talk about. I want to share my successes with you, and tell you all about my kids. One of the most painful thoughts is knowing that my children won't get to know you the way I do. Maybe they will another time, in another place....

You were such a nice guy and good man. Many people came to the wake and funeral. They said so many nice things about you. And it's all true. I hope you heard and liked the eulogy I delivered. I spent a lot of time on it. Although this has been a sad time I know we'll work through it. I remember how you used to always come up to me and say how "Life is good, huh?" And how I'd always say "Yeah, it sure is". Well, I still believe that it is. Mainly because you made it so good for me. Life is a lot of things, some good, some not so good - but in it's totality you've taught me what's important. Not that you ever lectured us, but by watching you live your life, you shaped mine, and I learned. Thank you so much Dad.

Until we meet again,

Your Son.

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